It’s irritating when your husband gets to go to Prague to play Scrabble and you’re stuck in Charleston with something called WORK, especially since it’s the last week of classes and student excuses fill the air like bad Justin Bieber songs. 

Marty is playing in the international Scrabble Champions tournament, part of something called the Mind Sports Festival, though I keep referring to it as the Mind Games Festival.

            “Marty is playing in the Mind Games Festival,” I tell friends.

            “Daiva, shouldn’t you be playing? I mean, you know, mind games….”

            (Yeah, why didn’t I receive an invitation?)

Anyway, here’s a link to the events:

This is what I’m doing to deal with the resentment and loneliness caused by Marty’s selfish absence. (I’ve also discovered that these are GREAT ways to avoid grading student papers and preparing for class.

1. Inviting the neighborhood stray over for a soak in the hot tub followed by a cold shower and complimentary beef jerky treats.

2.     Attempting to find all of the Lintz chocolates I’ve asked Marty to hide.  I make it a game. Each time I find one, I give myself a quarter from Marty’s “secret” stash of change.

3.      Playing imaginary Scrabble with Marty (Collins and TWL) and always winning. Saying things like, “Look, honey, I made BOBFLOAT for 203 points. That’s good in Collins, right?” and “Ooh, I think I have QUETZAL on my rack.”

4.     Cleaning out Marty’s closet and taking older items (pre-1968) to the Salvation Army.

5.     Making prank midnight phone calls to Marty’s opponents in Prague.

6.     Cheering for the Green Bay Packers.

7.     Forming dirty words from Cheezit Scrabble crackers.  In bed.

8.     Listening to MY holiday favorites: Oi to the World by the Vandals (oi is good in Collins, BTW); the Dean Martin version of It’s a Marshmallow World (where he slurs the words—ha ha!); Bach’s Christmas cantata Unser Mund sei voll Lachens BWV 110 with text by Georg Christian Lehms; the Lee Vees How Do You Spell Channukkahh; and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir rendition of The Little Drummer Boy.

9.     Realizing that the world is my snowball.

10.Emailing old boyfriends “to catch up on things.”

(Just kidding, Marty. I love you and miss you and hope you’re having fun in the land of your ancestors.) 

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